Does your partner get defensive? When you try to discuss something, do you think: “I can’t talk to him without him getting mad” “Why is my wife so defensive?” “My husband gets defensive when I tell him how I feel” When…
Are you seeing signs that unresolved issues are hurting your relationship? When you don't know how talk about relationship problems, you're left: Feeling shut down when he touches you, because you feel angry, put-off, resentful, rather than affectionate Fearing a bad…
What usually happens when couples fight? It's tempting to think, "It's my partner's fault." Finding fault may seem normal and natural. We do it without knowing it. But there's a problem with faulting your partner when you disagree. Blame gets in…
How well can you recognize these four doomsday horsemen for relationships and stop them? They are criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. So many of us start life with faulty tools for fixing relationship problems. We think criticism can change unwanted behavior…
What are we looking for in our most important relationships? It's that feeling of a safe, dependable, steady connection with another person. It helps us stay on an even keel despite whatever is going on around us. What we're looking for…
We work with many couples who are upset that they fight all the time. They wonder why they can't solve problems like disagreements about cleaning up the dishes, or how to parent their kids, or whether one works too much. They…
Partners can stop fighting so much, and turn conflict into safety with a new focus on emotions Often, when counseling begins with a couple experiencing a lot of conflict, they notice after a few weeks that they are arguing less. As…
Sometimes the greatest stress in a marriage or partnership isn't about poor communication or a loss of love and affection. The hidden issue for many couples is depression. This condition often plagues couples who come to therapy confused and distressed about…
10 Warnings Signs that Arguing is Hurting Your Relationship and How to Fight Fair As we grow up, each of us learns that there are many ways to approach an argument. We can try our best to fight fair. We can…
Do you struggle with constant fighting in a relationship? Arguing with your partner can really hurt. Handled one way, it can cause pain and injury. But handled another, something beautiful and tender may unfold. Constant fighting in a relationship can be…
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