Do you ever hear things like: 

• You are taking this way to personally.  
• How did you know I was excited about something? 
• Why are you so upset about your friend’s job loss? 

If so, you may be a super feeler (and in my world that’s a superpower!). 

In this blog I hope to shed light on what it means to be a super feeler. Like everything, there are challenges and benefits. I’ll go through some of both and discuss how super feelers can harness their emotional depth to their advantage.

You said Super feeler? What is that?

In a world where emotional intelligence (EQ) is increasingly talked about and valued, there exists a unique subset of individuals known as “super feelers.” Super feelers possess an extraordinary sensitivity to both their own emotions and those of others. Their emotional radar operates at a frequency many cannot access. They detect subtle shifts in mood, unspoken tensions, and underlying emotional currents that most people miss. 

This sensitivity isn’t simply about feeling more strongly — it’s about perceiving the emotional dimension of reality with greater clarity and nuance. These people experience emotions with remarkable depth. They process the world around them through a heightened emotional lens that shapes their entire lived experience. 

For instance, Jane, a super feeler, often finds herself tearful during heartfelt commercials or feeling deeply distressed when a friend is going through a tough time. Her strong emotional responses are a testament to her heightened empathy and sensitivity.

For most people, emotions are fleeting mental states. For super-feelers emotions are powerful physical experiences. 

For example, a super feeler might experience Joy as a warm, expansive sensation radiating through their chest. Sadness can feel like a tangible weight pressing against their shoulders. Anxiety might create a cascade of physical sensations from racing heartbeat to tingling fingertips. This embodied experience of emotion means super feelers live in a world where emotional states have a visceral, tactile quality.

Super feelers also absorb the emotional states of those around them like emotional sponges. They feel the joys and sorrows of others as if they were their own. 

Walking into a room, they might immediately sense lingering tension from a previous argument or the subtle excitement of good news not yet shared. This empathic ability makes them natural confidants, capable of providing emotional understanding without judgment.

Am I a Super Feeler?

• Do you react strongly to emotional situations, whether they are personal experiences or events happening around you?
• Do you possess an innate ability to understand and share the feelings of others, often putting yourself in someone else’s shoes?
• Do you experience sensory overload in large gatherings (even if you consider yourself an extrovert)?
• Do you cry easily, even over things that don’t seem to affect others as much.
• Is being around negative or tense energy especially overwhelming?
• Do you routinely replay conversations in your head, analyzing how things were said?
• Do you regularly worry about how your words or actions affected someone else?
• When something upsets you, you can’t just “shake it off” immediately?
• Do people often come to you for emotional support?
• Do creative activities help you process feelings?

If you answered yes to most of these questions, congratulations, you are probably a super feeler!

The Science Behind Super Feelers: Mirror Neurons

Imagine you’re watching someone reach for a cup of coffee. The same neurons in your brain that fire if you were reaching for the cup yourself become active just by watching. It’s as if your brain is “mirroring” or mentally rehearsing the action you’re observing. This is the mirror neuron system. 

Neurologically, super feelers may have a more active mirror neuron system. 

Mirror neurons play important roles in:

• Learning Through Observation: How we learn new skills by watching others, from a baby learning to smile to an adult learning a new dance move.
• Understanding Others’ Actions: They help us comprehend what others are doing and why they’re doing it.
• Empathy: When you see someone in pain, your mirror neurons may activate similar patterns to what you’d experience, helping you understand their emotional state.
• Social Connection: Mirror neurons are fundamental to how we connect with others by creating shared experiences in our brains.

Challenges Faced by Super Feelers

While being a super feeler comes with many strengths, it also presents unique challenges. 

• One of the primary issues is emotional exhaustion. Constantly experiencing intense emotions is draining and may lead to periods of withdrawal or emotional burn out.

• Super feelers’ deep empathy can make it challenging to set boundaries leading to overcommitting and neglecting their own needs. 

• Super-feelers may find it difficult to distinguish between their own feelings and those they’ve absorbed from others.

• Their heightened sensitivity can make everyday interactions overwhelming — a casual criticism might feel like a devastating blow, while a minor social slight might trigger intense pain. 

• Media and environments that others find neutral or mildly stimulating can overwhelm a super feeler’s system. Violent films, chaotic spaces, or emotionally charged conversations might require recovery time. 

• Super feelers may be misunderstood as overly emotional or dramatic, which can lead to social stigma and isolation.

Super Feeler = Superpower

Being a super feeler comes with numerous strengths. The journey of a super feeler often involves learning to harness their sensitivity to transform their intense emotions into powerful tools for connection, creativity, personal growth, and professional success.

Strong EQ

Psychological research suggests that super feelers often score high on measures of emotional intelligence (EQ). EQ involves the ability to perceive, control, and evaluate emotions, and super feelers typically excel in these areas.

Many employers value EQ just as much as IQ, making high-EQ professionals strong candidates for promotions and leadership roles.

Negotiation

Super feelers have strong negotiation and persuasion skills. Since they are great at reading people’s reactions, they tend to be good at influencing decisions and building consensus by adjusting negotiation strategies accordingly. They are skilled at finding win-win solutions.

Conflict Resolution

Super feelers in leadership roles can navigate conflicts and maintain team morale. They are skilled at mediating conflicts with nuance, notice when someone needs support before they ask, and create spaces of emotional safety.

Resilience

Super Feelers often engage in self-reflection and develop resilience through their experiences. 

Self-awareness helps in recognizing biases and making thoughtful, objective decisions.

Positive Relationships

Super feelers tend to have great job satisfaction because they maintain positive workplace relationships. 

Their deep empathy allows them to connect with others on a profound level, making them excellent friends, partners, and caregivers.

Creativity

Many super feelers find solace and fulfillment in creative pursuits such as writing, painting, or music, where they can channel their intense emotions into art that resonates deeply with audiences.

Conclusion

Those who experience emotions intensely may feel out of place. Actually, their intense emotions and deep empathy are not weaknesses but strengths that can be harnessed for personal growth and professional success. 

If you’re looking for support to harness your super feeler superpower for good, we can help you develop self-care strategies to avoid overwhelm and burnout and set healthy personal and professional boundaries.

Mount Vernon Family Therapy is a well-established practice in Alexandria with over 15 years of providing therapy to our community. Our experienced therapists at Mount Vernon Therapy are trained in a range of services tailored to meet the needs of individuals, couples, and families. Whether through in-person sessions or online counseling, we provide flexible scheduling and personalized care to foster personal growth and navigate life’s challenges.

To learn about how individual therapy, family therapy, or parent coaching can be helpful call us at 703-768-6240